My Mom

Today is my mother's 60th birthday. She is the absolute best mom in the whole world. No really. She is. My mom is my best friend. As early as I can remember, I always loved spending time with my mom. She loves to play games, go shopping, cook, sit down for a great meal, watch movies or just sit and talk. Having been "out of the house" for several years now, so much of who I am and what I do is a reflection, sometimes mirror image, of how much I am like her.

This past weekend my sister and I pulled off a surprise birthday party for her. I say "pulled off" because it wasn't easy and there were a couple close calls. With my sister and brother-in-law living in Atlanta, Georgia, my mom isn't able to spend nearly enough time with her first grandchild, London. That birthday gift was an easy pick: fly Jessica and London home to tell her happy birthday in person. Check out her reaction here!

Beautiful. It's just beautiful and breathtaking what a grandchild can do to a grandma's heart. It brings tears of joy to my eyes.

Next up was to distract Mom by taking her to get a pedicure. Not too hard to do. While the girls were out, a few family and friends set up the scene that Mom is usually taking care of...the food! The guests arrived and huddled in the garage so when we pulled in and hit the garage door opener...SURPRISE!! So much family and so many friends came to celebrate such a special lady. It was so much fun.

I'm so thankful and blessed to have the mom that I do. I would not even be close to the woman I am today without her love and influence. I can only hope and pray that I can be the kind of mother she is one day. I know when that day comes, I'll have one more thing to be thankful for...that she is the best grandma any child could have. I love you, Mom. Happy, Happy birthday. May our lives be blessed with many more to celebrate with you.

Impetus

Impetus - n. definition - the force or energy with which something moves.

My husband says I'm the impetus and I proudly take it as a compliment. I love to organize. Closets, kitchen cabinets, my Outlook inbox. Anything. You name it, I would love to organize it for you. This weekend spurred a spontaneous energy to organize.

We've been wanting to spruce up a random room in our small home that was quickly becoming too cramped for comfort. It housed our computer which is used a lot. Whether it's to sit down together to update the budget, set up the web cam to chat with my nephew, or to kill zombies on a Sunday afternoon (you'll have to ask Justin about that one). Our elliptical machine is also located in the room which soon after buying we realized we'd need to have a TV located directly in front of this machine for any "ellipticising" to be had. Check. But now that we had this nice, new flat screen TV, we thought "why would we ever watch our old tube TV in the living room. We should get a love seat to fit in here so we can watch TV whether we are working out or not. Basically, after a few months, other than having to leave the room to use the bathroom, we could have lived in that small random room. There was barely enough room to even vacuum. (Is that really a downfall??)

Lucky for me, I have a talented sister with a degree in interior design. After discussing my frustration with what the room was turning into, she helped me with a floor plan that would drastically change the purpose and use of the room. She also helped me pick out a new paint color to give it an even more dramatic change and a brand new feel to it. You know what I'm talking about. I highly recommend her opinions and advice and you can check out some of her work or contact her to help you too at Box It Design or visit her Esty Shop - Box It Design.

Needless to say, after painting and rearranging I thought to myself "What the heck, why not take everything out of these two closets and organize them as well!" Let's just say I'm headed to the Goodwill after work to make a trunk full of donations! You can ask Justin, at one point in my organizing frenzy I think I said "This is the happiest day of my life!" Obviously that is so far from the truth, but that was what I felt in that instant. It is so freeing and refreshing to get rid of useless stuff and organize the useful stuff so that it can be just that, useful.

I thanked my husband for supporting me in my "won't sleep till this is finished" attitude I've had the past week getting this done. He in turn thanked me for being "the impetus". I'm happy and completely satisfied with how the room turned out. I hate to admit this, but I was even kinda excited to get up at 5:30 this morning just so I could "ellipticise" in the newly created space. I hope the excitement wears off soon...

Another round

Well I only had to wait one more day, and let's just say I didn't have to take a test to know that I was NOT pregnant. I'm glad I didn't even buy a test yet and waste time on that. So anyway...

I'm good. It's just fine that the baby making was unsuccessful this month. I must say, at this point, it's much easier to stomach the fact that it just didn't work this time. It was much harder to handle getting a positive test and being pregnant for 2 months and then losing it. So, I really am fine with it.

Like I've said and will continue to live by, God is in control of this and I'm relieved about that. I'm relieved that when it doesn't work out, I know it's for a reason and along the same line, I'll be ecstatic when it does work because I know it's God's will.

So the counting of days starts all over again. Trying is the fun part anyway, right? ; )

Wait

So the waiting game has been underway. Two days left (hopefully). I plan to update this blog with the results. It has been incredible how the last couple weeks have really changed me. When we first decided to start trying again, I had mixed feelings. Of course I want to be a mom and am so excited for that day to come. But a big part of me was still very nervous about having my past experience with an ectopic pregnancy happen again. For emotional reasons no doubt, but the physical pain it caused as well. I remember at certain points that I really felt like I couldn't handle the pain any more, and I knew I never wanted that to happen again.

Well, my fears have since subsided quite a bit. I've been overly excited to know if the test will say yes. I have my hunches, but part of you always thinks your mind is playing tricks on you because you are biased about the outcome. So we'll see. I of course have long since given this to God. I know He has a plan and always has had one. I am praying that my desire to become a mom is part of that plan He has for me.

Another thing I noticed recently that has changed this time around is the focus of my thoughts. The first time around, all I could think about was "being pregnant" and the excitement and changes that come with that. It was mostly about me. Now the picture is SO MUCH BIGGER than that! I'm much more focused on "being a mom".  How to raise a family, how to stay strong in my faith, how to stay strong in my marriage. How life can work if I stay home to raise my family. God has shown me so many doors and so many families out there who are living proof of what it takes. I've been so encouraged. So here's to the waiting game. Have I mentioned the lessons in patience God continues to teach me...

Start small

So today I made a goal for myself to create at least one new post a week. So Thursday is the day. If I haven't posted anything else during the week, Thursday will be the day that I force myself to write something. As uncreative as it may turn out, I need to start small and start somewhere in this world of blogging. I love routine. Make that, I eat, sleep and breathe routine. Literally. So since blogging hasn't been part of my routine for all these years, I'm slowly trying to find where and how it will fit. That is all for now. Now it's lunchtime. Like I said, eat routine.