It is 4:30am and I couldn't be more excited to be sitting down and blogging. Quiet. Dark. Peaceful. (Deep breath in...and out.)
The past few weeks have been, let's say, sleep-deprived. Eloise showed us very early on her wonderful sleeping-through-the-night skills. At 7 weeks it was, for the most part, usual for her to sleep 7, 8, sometimes 9 hours. That's when things started getting good! Mommy was getting sleep. Baby was getting sleep. The Klemsz household was functioning pretty darn good.
Enter teething to the Klemsz household. It's felt more like Zombieland around here to me the past few weeks. Eloise started showing signs of teething right around when she turned 4 months. Slobber City, chewing on her hands constantly, chewing her pacy, grunting, and getting up 3 sometimes 4 times a night. It only took a couple nights of these for Mommy to feel like she got punched in the face. Ouch.
You see, I love sleep. I realize you waste so much of your life doing it, but if I don't get some, the life I am living is not to its fullest. (That and I'm a b-word.) Before Eloise blessed our family, I'd love to get a good 8 hours in every night and always looked forward to my 3 hour long Sunday afternoon siesta. I realized even before we got pregnant, that all of that snoozing would be a thing of the past. And, honestly, it really is a worthy trade. Now, a one to two hour stretch at a time, not fun.
More often than not, by the third time of heading sluggishly to the nursery, it wasn't without tears. It wasn't that I don't love to spend every moment I can with my precious baby girl, it was that I had not had at least a 4 hour stretch of sleep. (I learned in the early weeks after having Eloise I could actually function quite well after even just 4 hours.) I also admit that I was jealous and probably even angry that my husband wouldn't even wake up to the baby monitor making noise.
It is the weakest I've felt during this short time of motherhood I've got to experience. I'm a strong woman. Yeah, I'm not afraid to cry every now and again, but I can hold my own. Because I was so sleep deprived, I started having so many negative thoughts about whether I was going to make it as a mom. If I couldn't get recharged with sleep at night, how was I supposed to devote my attention to her during the day? I just wanted to lay around and nap all day. I think even worse than feeling like a failure in the mommy department, I felt like an awful wife. I'd wake up for the day looking like hell, not even really able to respond to anything Justin was saying (Zombieland!). I would still feel resentment toward him because I didn't think he really understood what I just went through that night. I stopped making breakfast for him every once in a while (not because I felt resentment, mostly because at that state of mind I shouldn't be going anywhere near a heat source). All I could do was find my way to the coffee maker. Then when I'd get home from my 4 hour shift of work, I'd want to get ready for bed as soon as Eloise was down, hoping to get at least some sleep before I knew we'd start all over. I feared the night.
I really shouldn't be talking in past tense here, because I may be speaking too soon, but what I'm really excited to report (hence blogging at 4:30am about being sleep deprived...) the past two nights I've gotten at least a 5 hour stretch of sleep (and then some)! It doesn't take long for that to change. your. world. Now, I'm not entirely on the fence about this yet, but so far it seems to be helping, and that is a baltic amber necklace for Eloise. I know what you're thinking, either 1. What the heck is that? or 2. Wow, you really are a hippy, huh Erica?
Well, I had read some about baltic amber being used in other countries for centuries to reduce swelling and act as a pain reliever. It's a soft mineral that when placed on the skin, the skin warms it and allows for it to soak in. Adults use necklaces to relieve headache pain. People use braceletes or anklets to reduce joint pain. And many parents have used necklaces to help babies with their teething pain. When I read about it, I really thought, wow that seems interesting, but didn't have an opinion one way or another. It's when you start losing sleep that you eventually will try anything to get it back. And I also didn't want to be giving Eloise Tylenol every day (it really didn't seem to work much at night anyway). So, Tuesday afternoon was when we first put the necklace on her. Tuesday night she woke up once in an 11 hour stretch. Now currently on night #2, she's woken up just once in 8 hours (and counting). Like I said, I'm not completely convinced, but am well on my way. I don't think 2 nights in a row can be coincidence and the only common denominator is the amber necklace. I'll knock on wood (or maybe on some baltic amber).
I'm glad the necklace seems to be helping! It never seemed to make any difference for Adeline. The only thing that helps her is ibuprofin, but it also constipates her if we give it to her too often, so we too have had our share of sleepless nights. She is cutting her eye teeth right now, and I was up three times with her last night. It is so easy to become resentful quickly when your sleep is interrupted! But it is always a stage. Then you'll go back to good sleep for a few weeks before the next tooth starts, or she catches a cold, or she has a growth spurt, or... ;)
ReplyDelete--Bethany
Hey Sister. I totally feel your pain :) The good thing is that one year really does go by fast. One day at a time. Before you know it she is one and weened off nursing, walking, talking, and then you take a long blink and she's getting dressed and putting her own clothes away (London put his clothes away yesterday all by himself-sorted in the right drawer and everything!) Aunt Erica would be proud :) Just remember that a mother's bond with her child is unique and different from the fathers. There is a reason why we hear the baby. We are their first protectors, carrying them with us for 9 months and then providing life giving food for them. Every time I wanted to cry, I would just remind myself, "This too shall pass." One thing that helped when I really needed a good night sleep- Lance would sleep on the floor in the room with London. That way he was sure to hear him. I had peace of mind knowing that if they needed me, he would ask. Even if this only happens once a week, it helped. Also, I agree- ibuprofin Motrin is better if you have to use it. Also just remember that there will be more obstacles ahead and they all make you crazy in different ways :) But, if people make the choice to do it all over again, this is a great testimonial to the saying "This too shall pass." Hang in there, I love you and can't wait to see you after this little girl makes her debut :)
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