A tiny, precious heart...

...that I again am reminded is in God's hands.

We had our usual appointment yesterday to measure my ever growing belly and listen to our precious baby's heartbeat. This time it was different. Normally it's in and out and see you next time.This time the doctor noticed something different with the heartbeat. Though strong and at a good rate, it seemed to be skipping a beat ever so often. He wanted to get a better analysis of it so he had me hooked up to the fetal monitor for a half hour or so to get a good reading. Sure enough, as Justin and I sat their listening to the life inside me, we noticed it too.

The nurse assured us that she was not worried, that she would tell us if she were and that in other words, she wouldn't be losing sleep at night over this. She didn't want us to be worried either. Dr. Swanson was so great as well, explaining that this is something they do see. Sometimes it's something, sometimes nothing. They just wanted to be proactive and check on things now. We had an ultrasound to check the anatomy, and again everything still looks great. The heart is the right size, in the right place and there is no fluid. This is all good. (Though I didn't like the circumstances it was under, it was fun to get to see her again. Justin said she has my lips.) The only thing they want to look further into is the arrhythmia. We have an appointment on Wednesday to see a pediatric cardiologist, which sounds so serious. I wish it didn't. I know that is where we'll find the best answers though.

My doctor said a lot of times the arrhythmia will have fixed itself by the time of the cardiologist appointment. Sometimes during this rapid time of growth, the nerves connected to the heart aren't quite caught up. He said sometimes they'll also see it fix itself soon after delivery. He continued to reassure us that he is not worried and that we shouldn't be either.

So that's the low down. I my mind I tell myself I'm not worried, but I hate to say, I think I'm realizing that is a lie. I've never been much of  a worrier. I've developed an amazing trust in God to take away any worries I've had up until this point in my life. I'm starting to see how when it's your own child, precious baby at that, it's harder to not worry. I do trust God. This is reminding me that every day is a blessing. Every day is in His hands. I pray that I would be able to give this completely over to Him. That whatever happens, He has His hand on all of it.

That being said, will you say a prayer, too? That this precious, tiny, beautiful heart will get better. That over this week, God will continue to show us how big He is. That at next weeks appointment they will send us away with amazing news.

The countdown till her arrival continues. 34 days to go. I think this new discovery is making me want her here with us even more. I want to hold her, tell her how much I love her. Know that she's okay, right in my arms and that I'd do anything for her.